Parenthood Lost and Found:

A Guided Journal for Reclaiming Wholeness When Fertility Treatments End


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My Love Letter to You

My name is Rebecca.

I never wanted to be here creating this journal for you, just as I know you never wanted to be looking for it. Yet, here we are, together, on this unscheduled detour.

When we are young and innocent, the plans we make seem so simple and straightforward. Everything is going to go exactly as we lay it out, hopefully down to the minute, so we don’t get behind schedule.

Move down the line a few years or even a decade and we realize, life rarely works out the way we planned it at 25 and life usually isn’t fair, the way we may have thought it was when we were young. Be a good girl, follow the rules, and you can have anything you want in life…including a biological family, conceived for the price of a good bottle of wine and some pretty lingerie. Not so fast…right?

I had eight miscarriages between the time I was 26 and 36. I underwent every test imaginable, sometimes more than once, between 32-36. I tried progesterone and meditation and contacting my spirit baby and blood thinners and supplements, loads of supplements. I had IVF in my early 40’s and despite being a very good girl, who followed the plan to a tee, finished graduate school with high honors, married the sweet guy I met in college, got my career perfectly lined out to have room for a family and bought the beautiful home to raise them in, I was left with one major problem. Those babies never showed up. I’m 44 now and they still haven’t. To be honest, I’m not sure where that leaves me when I look down the road for the next 40 years that lay ahead of me.

So I won’t pretend to have all of the answers for you, to me, finding such answers is likely a life long process. However, I have spent the last 18 years asking all of the questions you are asking yourself or want to ask yourself, but haven’t been able to get there just yet. Including the ones everyone else is asking you, like “why don’t you just adopt?” or “why don’t you find a surrogate?” Or the best one of all, “why don’t you just get over it?” And maybe you will, or maybe you won’t.

I wrote this journal, built this journey and started this community circle, because when I went searching for something, anything, after my failed IVF and multiple miscarriages, I couldn’t really find offerings for women or couples to turn to, when everything had failed them. There’s plenty out there if you are still trying to conceive, if you are pursuing surrogacy or adoption.

But what is there for those of us, who may not be sure which route we want to take when a biological child or a child we carry in our own wombs is out of the question? What is there for those of us who are grappling with the possibility of not having children at all, perhaps for financial reasons at the end of a pricey fertility journey, or because of the desires of our partners, or because we ourselves are tired and ready to consider the alternatives?

Well, now I can tell you, there is a journal, and a journey, and a community…where you are welcomed, not judged, not required to keep thinking only happy thoughts. Where you can be yourself, accept all of the possibilities, and explore all of the options in a safe space held just for you, for your journey, at your own pace, in your own time, on your own terms. Because nothing else has likely been on your terms along this journey, so you should at least get it your way now. Apologies for the sarcasm, but sometimes, humor is my only coping mechanism.

Genuinely though, I hope you can open your journal, listen to a session or join in on a conversation here and find PEACE.

You deserve nothing less than the best and now is your time to figure out what that means for you.

I wish you a safe and peaceful journey, I hope you find the answers I know your heart seeks and I give you permission to rest, your soul and your body, because a pause after life events such as the ones you’ve survived is only reasonable and very necessary, so you can find the strength to paint a new path and take the first step towards a reimagined life.

All My Love,

R~

Or dive into the Parenthood: Lost & Found Membership Options

💬 Journal Topics Covered

  • Processing pregnancy loss and medical trauma
  • Rebuilding a compassionate relationship with your body
  • Navigating relationship strain, intimacy, and rebuilding connection
  • Exploring future paths: adoption, fostering, surrogacy, or child-free living
  • Finding meaning, identity, and joy again
  • Forgiving yourself, your body, your partner, modern medicine—even your faith
  • Gentle practices to support healing: nutrition, movement, meditation, therapy, and more


🌸 Why This Journal?

Because infertility grief is invisible, and yet it changes everything.

Because your healing deserves more than silence.

Because even after the plan ends, your life isn’t over.

This journal isn’t about “moving on.” It’s about moving inward—to listen, to grieve, and to find wholeness again in a life that didn’t follow the script.


💗 Who This Is For

  • Anyone recovering from failed fertility treatment
  • Individuals or couples who experienced miscarriage or embryo loss
  • Those feeling lost, isolated, or stuck after “trying everything”
  • Partners seeking a way to reconnect emotionally and explore a new future
  • Anyone who longs to reclaim peace, identity, and hope


📘 Available Formats

  • Printable PDF for at-home journaling on your digital device or in printed form
  • Optional companion resources:
  • Guided Meditations
  • Community Circle Access
  • 8-Week Self-Paced Parenthood Lost and Found: The Journey
  • Partner Companion Journal - COMING SOON!


✨ A Gentle Reminder

You are not broken.

Your story is not over.

And you are allowed to find joy again—even here.

FAQ


Is this journal only for people who have gone through IVF?

No. While the journal is titled “…When Fertility Treatments End” it is designed for anyone who has experienced infertility, pregnancy or embryo loss, undergone and failed fertility treatments—including IVF, IUI, donor cycles, or other assisted reproductive technologies—and is coping with the emotional aftermath of unsuccessful outcomes.


I didn’t go through IVF, but I had a miscarriage or embryo loss. Is this journal still for me?

Yes. The journal gently supports all types of parenthood losses and grief related to challenges around fertility. If you are navigating life after trying to conceive—regardless of method—this space was made for you.


Can I use this journal even if I’m still considering additional treatments or I’m not sure if I’m done trying?

Yes. Many people begin using the journal while still in a transitional place. It can help you process where you’ve been, get clearer on how you’re feeling, and support decision-making about what comes next. It is actually a perfect option to help those trying to decide how to proceed and navigate their next steps.


Is this journal meant to be used with the “Parenthood Lost and Found: The Journey (course), or can I use it on my own?

You can absolutely use the journal on its own. While it aligns with the 8-week course, it stands alone beautifully as a guided tool for emotional and personal healing. If you enjoy the journal and wish to embark on the journey or join our Community Circle afterwards, that is completely okay, too. You are here to do what feels good and right to you, right now.


Is the journal physical or digital?

Currently, the journal is available as a digital PDF download. You’ll receive immediate access upon purchase. You can used the PDF on a digital device and fill it in with a digital pen or text boxes, OR print it out and write with pen.


How much time does it take to complete the journal?

The journal is designed to be completed over the course of 90 days, with one guided writing entry per day. But there’s no rush. You can move through it at your own pace, revisit sections, or skip around based on how you’re feeling. Sometimes the topics covered require a few days to process and you are encouraged to take your time to sort through the emotions brought to the surface.


Is this journal trauma-informed? Will it be triggering?

The journal is designed with emotional safety in mind. It acknowledges the complexity of grief and offers compassionate questions—never pushing, only inviting. However, deep feelings may arise, and you’re encouraged to use support tools like therapy as needed.


Will this journal help me talk to my partner about our experience?

Yes. A number of entries are designed to help you reflect on your relationship and gently open conversations with your partner—about grief, intimacy, rebuilding connection, and future decisions.

We also plan to have a Companion Journal for Significant Others available soon!


What if I don’t want to use a surrogate, adopt, foster, or live child-free? Will the journal pressure me to choose a path?

No. The journal holds space for uncertainty and does not promote any one outcome. It simply invites you to explore your feelings, desires, and possibilities—on your own terms, and at your own pace to decide what is best for you and your family. In no way, does it sway you toward choosing one path or suggest any one option is the best.


Can I gift this journal to someone else?

Yes, of course, and it’s a beautiful, thoughtful gift. If you’re purchasing a digital version, please buy one copy per recipient. If you’d like to arrange a gift note, do so by clicking on “send as gift” during check out. For bulk orders for support groups, reach out [email protected] for assistance and pricing.

Are you ready to begin a new journey?


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